Oh...YUCK!!!!!!

I am a chocolate connoisseur. Chocolate is most certainly my favorite sweet. I especially love gourmet chocolates. My favorite are these Belgium chocolate truffles that I get from an import store near where I live. Words cannot describe the incredible sensation associated with tasting these particular chocolate truffles.

So, I am not really into candy. Chocolate is my thing. However, I do like Jelly Belly jelly beans. I will buy them from time to time and my favorite flavor is Tutti-Frutti. What is really cool is that you have a recipe guide with the Jelly Belly beans. So, if you want to have the taste of chocolate covered cherries, you eat two Very Cherry Beans and one Chocolate pudding bean. And really, it does taste very much like a chocolate covered cherry jelly bean! Of course you can have fun creating your personal taste sensations as well.

So, the other day I was at the grocery store and I saw a package of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. They are made by the same company, Jelly Belly. Now, also, I enjoyed the Harry Potter movies and saw them all except the last one. Obviously, my curiosity was piqued.

I thought to myself, would Jelly Belly really make jelly beans flavored like ear wax and vomit as shown in the flavor guide? I thought, Nah, a candy company wouldn't do that. After all, who would eat them? Maybe just a gimmick. Besides, how are they going to "taste test" the beans and decide which one tastes more like ear wax than the other? But nonetheless, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to buy them and try them.

So, I get home and open the package. First, I go for the Tutti-Fruitti. Yum. Then my curiosity starts creeping in and I decide to go for the vomit flavor. So, I try it. Well, I can say that it has this sickly sweet flavor of vomit, but it seemed like more of a nuance rather than an actual flavor. Also, I thought that perhaps the effect was more psychological in that since it was labeled as being vomit flavor, then my taste buds and brain decide it is vomit flavor.

Still curious, I decided to go for the Black Pepper flavor. Oh my! Definitely a strong black pepper flavor. Definitely NOT a nuance! The flavor was so strong that I decided to go for my other, but slightly lesser favorites of Blueberry and Cherry just to try to get the taste out of my mouth.

However, still curious, I decide to go for the Sardine Flavor. I start chewing...Oh...YUCK!!!!!! Although I have eaten sardines before and have no problem with them, the very strong taste of sardines coupled with the sugar sweetness of a jelly bean was horrible. Yuck!!!!!!!

Still curious, I decided to go for the Soap Flavor. I figured anything will be better than sardines. Besides, I thought I would be clever and use Soap Flavor to wash away the sardine flavor. So, I start chewing. Oh my, this one was really bad. It tasted like I just put a piece of strong soap in my mouth. Now I have the strong lingering taste of sardines coupled with the fresh presence of soap on my taste buds. Horrible, horrible yuck!

Now curiosity is gone and desperation sets in. I want to get rid of those tastes in my mouth so I decide to eat the Green Apple flavor bean. I figured that should get rid of those horrible tastes and leave me with the pleasant taste of green apples. Besides I love Granny Smith apples, so Green Apple flavor should do the trick, right?

Wrong. By mistake, I put Grass Flavor in my mouth and start chewing. Grass and Green Apple both look the same on the flavor guide!!!! In my desperation, I grabbed the wrong bean!!!!! Now I have grass flavored soap on my taste buds coupled with the lingering sardines.

At this point I am out of pleasant flavored beans to counteract the horrible taste in my mouth. Definitely a combination that I have no words to describe! Grass flavored soap with a sardine overtone!! All I could do is just run to the refridgerator to grab some juice to drink to try and get rid or those flavors in my mouth!

The juice did not get rid of the grass flavored soap with the sardine overtone.

I think in this case, curiosity killed the Kat.

However, I never did try the other flavors of Booger, Earthworm, Dirt, Ear Wax, Rotten Egg, and Bacon. The Bacon one probably wouldn't be bad, but it looks too much like Earthworm on the flavor guide and I am not going to make that same mistake again! I am not sure if I will ever muster the curiosity and courage to try those flavors.

So, what will I do with those nasty flavors left? I guess they could be used for a practical joke. Considering all the practical jokes played on me last week, you know what they say about payback...