Christmas Present
A little known fact about me is that many many years ago I took classical voice training. I never pursued this route professionally because I thought that music would not be a "practical" career choice and I always struggled with anxiety and stage fright. No matter how good of a solo performance I gave, the price of anxiety was always too high for me.
A few weeks back this pastor decided to "collect" on a favor and asked me to stand in as part of this choir for a Christmas Candlelight service. He was desperate and heard through various people that I had a good voice. Quite honestly, I was in no mood to do this considering that I am in a "bah humbug" mood this Christmas considering that my mother passed away a few months ago. To say that I do not want to emotionally deal with this Christmas season is mildly putting it. But begrudgingly I agreed to do him this favor. I told him that if it was any other person, I would not agree to be doing this.
So, I go to this choir practice yesterday. I have not spent much time learning the pieces due to time and exhaustion. I also went to the practice completely exhausted from a long day at the lab. So exhausted that I could have easily fallen asleep driving there.
At the end of the practice, this musician/director takes me aside and asks me if this is my first time singing. I figured that he was asking me this because I was in such poor form. I started apologizing to him and telling him that I have taken lessons in the past, but I had not spent much time learning the pieces and that I am very tired today, and that I will learn the pieces by Sunday...
He stops me. Says to me that he is putting together this concert in Cleveland next year and does not want to bring in the operatic soloists from Europe that he brought in last year. He then drops the bomb on me...
...He wants me to be his soloist.
*Gasp*
I have anxiety regarding performing, anxiety in terms of training after so many years of not training, anxiety in terms of preparing for this and trying to balance life as a graduate student, and anxiety in terms getting my voice back up to where it used to be many years ago.
But I am so honored by this request that I quite don't know how to float back down to planet Earth. Considering how crummy my experimental work has been going these past two weeks, I think I will leave my head in the clouds for a while and bask in the glory of this wonderful honor.
This honor has been sort of an early Christmas present for me. One that I am going to cherish. One that makes this season just a little more bearable for me.
A few weeks back this pastor decided to "collect" on a favor and asked me to stand in as part of this choir for a Christmas Candlelight service. He was desperate and heard through various people that I had a good voice. Quite honestly, I was in no mood to do this considering that I am in a "bah humbug" mood this Christmas considering that my mother passed away a few months ago. To say that I do not want to emotionally deal with this Christmas season is mildly putting it. But begrudgingly I agreed to do him this favor. I told him that if it was any other person, I would not agree to be doing this.
So, I go to this choir practice yesterday. I have not spent much time learning the pieces due to time and exhaustion. I also went to the practice completely exhausted from a long day at the lab. So exhausted that I could have easily fallen asleep driving there.
At the end of the practice, this musician/director takes me aside and asks me if this is my first time singing. I figured that he was asking me this because I was in such poor form. I started apologizing to him and telling him that I have taken lessons in the past, but I had not spent much time learning the pieces and that I am very tired today, and that I will learn the pieces by Sunday...
He stops me. Says to me that he is putting together this concert in Cleveland next year and does not want to bring in the operatic soloists from Europe that he brought in last year. He then drops the bomb on me...
...He wants me to be his soloist.
*Gasp*
I have anxiety regarding performing, anxiety in terms of training after so many years of not training, anxiety in terms of preparing for this and trying to balance life as a graduate student, and anxiety in terms getting my voice back up to where it used to be many years ago.
But I am so honored by this request that I quite don't know how to float back down to planet Earth. Considering how crummy my experimental work has been going these past two weeks, I think I will leave my head in the clouds for a while and bask in the glory of this wonderful honor.
This honor has been sort of an early Christmas present for me. One that I am going to cherish. One that makes this season just a little more bearable for me.
posted by Katie at 5:02 PM
3 Comments:
Katie dressed as Pavaroti. Unless she doesn't sing at all, she'll be Placebo Domingo.
Anonymous,
I think it is a safe assumption that unless I start having transgender issues, gain a lot of weight, and start lowering my voice through hormones, I will NOT be dressing as Pavaroti. Maria Callas perhaps? Although not as extravagant. :-P
Well, a man can dream can't he?
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