Of Cats and Men
What is it with men and cats? I have met more men in my life that hate cats than not. Interestingly enough, those same men go ga-ga over dogs. It does not matter if the dog pisses everywhere, chews up everything in sight, and barks until no end, the dog still wins his heart over the better behaved cat. Go figure that one.
I have even been in a few relationships where the man gave me an ultimatum over my cats that I had long before he ever came into the picture. Let's just say the cats stayed. Besides, the cats kept me warmer at night anyhow...
I also made it not only a point, but a promise to myself to NEVER date anyone who did not at least seem to like cats. Usually when I hear a guy say "Oh, I hate cats." Or, "I like cats only when they are well behaved", that becomes a "dealbreaker" for me. That guy does not get through the front door so to speak.
So, in retrospect, I thought I would post this funny thing I found on the internet. Hey, men have always said that they wished that they had an instruction manual for women. I think that this comes close! At least with women who have cats!
THE WAY TO A WOMAN'S HEART
...is through her cat
So, you're dating a gal who shares her residence with a cat. If your relationship is going to get anywhere, I encourage you to follow each of these suggestions:
Never, ever mention that you can (or can't) smell the litter box.
If the kitten wants to spend an hour untying your shoelace, let
him. When he gets it untied, retie it so he can continue playing.
Never make a big show of brushing the cat fur from your slacks.
Get in the habit of putting a couple of sardines in your pocket.
Slip them to the cat when she isn't watching. (Note: you may have to do this through the entire dating period, because the cat will likely go for your pocket each time you visit.)
Don't push the cat off the sofa if he's inserted himself between
the two of you. If he's still sitting between the two of you when
you get amorous, reassure him (mental telepathy is fine) that you
have no harmful intentions against his companion, and move him
gently to your lap. Try to keep one hand stroking the cat at all
times in this situation.
If you're spending the night, do yourself a favor and don't even TRY to sleep in the cat's favorite spot on the bed.
When you phone her, ask about her cat.
When she leaves the room to fix cocktails or check on dinner, ask
her if she's got a cat toy handy so you can keep the cat entertained.
If you're taking her out to dinner, ask her if it's okay to bring
home a "cat bag" of leftovers for the cat.
I have even been in a few relationships where the man gave me an ultimatum over my cats that I had long before he ever came into the picture. Let's just say the cats stayed. Besides, the cats kept me warmer at night anyhow...
I also made it not only a point, but a promise to myself to NEVER date anyone who did not at least seem to like cats. Usually when I hear a guy say "Oh, I hate cats." Or, "I like cats only when they are well behaved", that becomes a "dealbreaker" for me. That guy does not get through the front door so to speak.
So, in retrospect, I thought I would post this funny thing I found on the internet. Hey, men have always said that they wished that they had an instruction manual for women. I think that this comes close! At least with women who have cats!
THE WAY TO A WOMAN'S HEART
...is through her cat
So, you're dating a gal who shares her residence with a cat. If your relationship is going to get anywhere, I encourage you to follow each of these suggestions:
Never, ever mention that you can (or can't) smell the litter box.
If the kitten wants to spend an hour untying your shoelace, let
him. When he gets it untied, retie it so he can continue playing.
Never make a big show of brushing the cat fur from your slacks.
Get in the habit of putting a couple of sardines in your pocket.
Slip them to the cat when she isn't watching. (Note: you may have to do this through the entire dating period, because the cat will likely go for your pocket each time you visit.)
Don't push the cat off the sofa if he's inserted himself between
the two of you. If he's still sitting between the two of you when
you get amorous, reassure him (mental telepathy is fine) that you
have no harmful intentions against his companion, and move him
gently to your lap. Try to keep one hand stroking the cat at all
times in this situation.
If you're spending the night, do yourself a favor and don't even TRY to sleep in the cat's favorite spot on the bed.
When you phone her, ask about her cat.
When she leaves the room to fix cocktails or check on dinner, ask
her if she's got a cat toy handy so you can keep the cat entertained.
If you're taking her out to dinner, ask her if it's okay to bring
home a "cat bag" of leftovers for the cat.
posted by Katie at 1:44 PM
7 Comments:
I don't blame you for liking cats so much. Cats are much more predictable than men. LOL
I've found a .22 is perfect for cats. A 12. ga also works, and disperses the evidence well, too.
Yeah, like I'm gonna sign this one too.
Gary,
True. I have found that sometimes a cat will be better company than some of the men I have been with.
Anonymous,
Well, it looks like you are back.
I would have to say that from your statement, you don't have to worry about us dating...
Date, who said anything about dating. Hot monkey sex, yes. What does that have to do with dating?
Anonymous,
What in the world did I do to wind you up so???
Look like Eva Gardner, that's what.
Anonymous,
When I wrote that particular post, I felt that I did not look that much like Eva Gardner. But I suppose you think otherwise?
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